Friday, March 14, 2008

Inspired by Crutches’s recent blog entry, I will attempt to quantify something that philosophers have been pondering for ages: What would Cindy’s ideal man be like?

This is a hard question to answer, but I’ll do my best.

On a niceness scale of one to Roger Hamley, he would rank between 92.5 and Crutches (the pseudonymous person, not the object).

On a cuteness scale of one to Shahid Kapoor, he would rank between puppies and, well, Shahid Kapoor.

On a scale of one to Miranda, he would be as fun to be around as Miranda.

On a scale of one to Einstein, he would be as smart as me.

On a scale of one to Bill Gates, he would be richer than a church mouse.

On a scale of one to the sound effects game on Whose Line Is It Anyway, his ability to make me laugh would rank between this Snide Remarks column and 84.2.

3 comments:

Crutches said...

On the one hand it would appear that you have a tall order, but then again, on a scale from nice hairdos to unlimited ice cream, you deserve it all.

Cindy said...

Aw, thanks.

I would like to point out that this was the ideal. The Realist list is more like this:

(1) not crazy
(2) not on drugs (illegal, that is)
(3) not a felon.

Those three criteria alone eliminate the majority of the guys who ask me out.

rosie said...

Hey, being a professional didn't make it onto either list. Didn't you say that that's a requirement?