Inspired by Crutches’s recent blog entry, I will attempt to quantify something that philosophers have been pondering for ages: What would Cindy’s ideal man be like?
This is a hard question to answer, but I’ll do my best.
On a niceness scale of one to Roger Hamley, he would rank between 92.5 and Crutches (the pseudonymous person, not the object).
On a cuteness scale of one to Shahid Kapoor, he would rank between puppies and, well, Shahid Kapoor.
On a scale of one to Miranda, he would be as fun to be around as Miranda.
On a scale of one to Einstein, he would be as smart as me.
On a scale of one to Bill Gates, he would be richer than a church mouse.
On a scale of one to the sound effects game on Whose Line Is It Anyway, his ability to make me laugh would rank between this Snide Remarks column and 84.2.