Friday, March 14, 2008

Inspired by Crutches’s recent blog entry, I will attempt to quantify something that philosophers have been pondering for ages: What would Cindy’s ideal man be like?

This is a hard question to answer, but I’ll do my best.

On a niceness scale of one to Roger Hamley, he would rank between 92.5 and Crutches (the pseudonymous person, not the object).

On a cuteness scale of one to Shahid Kapoor, he would rank between puppies and, well, Shahid Kapoor.

On a scale of one to Miranda, he would be as fun to be around as Miranda.

On a scale of one to Einstein, he would be as smart as me.

On a scale of one to Bill Gates, he would be richer than a church mouse.

On a scale of one to the sound effects game on Whose Line Is It Anyway, his ability to make me laugh would rank between this Snide Remarks column and 84.2.


Crutches said...

On the one hand it would appear that you have a tall order, but then again, on a scale from nice hairdos to unlimited ice cream, you deserve it all.

Cindy said...

Aw, thanks.

I would like to point out that this was the ideal. The Realist list is more like this:

(1) not crazy
(2) not on drugs (illegal, that is)
(3) not a felon.

Those three criteria alone eliminate the majority of the guys who ask me out.

rosie said...

Hey, being a professional didn't make it onto either list. Didn't you say that that's a requirement?