One service offered by ldssingles.com is a matching program that uses Science to find people who have compatible personalities and attitudes about religion, family, finances, which spouse should do the dishes, etc. As a firm believer in Science, I naturally had to fill out a profile myself.
A week went by, and Science was unable to find anyone compatible with me. This wasn't too surprising -- I've always figured I was a high-specificity, high-affinity person.
But then, I logged on and saw that there was actually a Scientifically Compatible match for me. I eagerly clicked on his profile -- and discovered that he lives in Australia.
"So much for Science," I thought to myself. I am, of course, too cheap to pay for services on an online dating site, which means I can't send or receive messages. This guy, as a Scientifically Compatible match for me, is probably in the same situation
If this were a romantic comedy, he'd probably internet-stalk me and then fly to Salt Lake to meet me in person, showing up on my doorstep and saying, "Hi, I'm [name redacted]. Do you believe in Science?"
Or, even more probably, we'd both decide to fly to the other's continent, barely missing each other at the airport where we each coincidentally had a layover. After 90 minutes of wacky hijinks and near misses, I would be just about to board my flight back to the States when he'd get on the airport loudspeaker and make a cheesy speech, and then there'd be much running down long hallways while
This being real life, however, both my Scientifically Compatible match and I are (hopefully) too level-headed and non-creepy for such a thing to ever occur. As with all the classic stories of star-crossed lovers, it's the very things that made us compatible that are now keeping us apart. Even Science can't overcome Fate.