Monday, January 18, 2010

how to obtain help in life (without even trying)

Today's helpful hint is a way of getting people to volunteer to help you without ever having to ask them. I discovered this quite by accident last night, but I think it should prove very effective in the future as well.*

Here's what you do: Simply describe the activity you need help with in such a way that people will not want to to miss out on seeing you attempt it. The following sample conversation may give you some guidance as you attempt to incorporate this technique into your own life.

Friend 1: Hey Cindy, what are you plans for the holiday tomorrow?

Cindy: Well, I'm going to replace the wax seal on the base of my toilet.

Friend 1: How do you do that? Just put it around the bottom?

Cindy: Not exactly. You see, first I've got to go to the hardware store to get myself a hacksaw. Then, after hacking and sawing off the bolts that hold the toilet onto the floor, I'll pick the toilet up and flip it upside down. I'll put the wax seal on the bottom, grab the toilet and flip it back right-side up, and put it back in place. And, that's basically it.

Friend 1: Um, okay. I hope I don't get a phone call from the elder's quorum tomorrow asking for help stopping a major flood in your house.

Cindy: Oh, I don't think that'll be a problem. It's more likely that I'll accidentally hack a limb off or get crushed by the toilet when I try to flip it over.

Friend 2: Can I come watch!?! I mean, help?

*Results may vary. Nice friends are required. Favorable results may be more difficult to obtain if you are not a hapless female known for doing things like giving yourself a concussion just by opening a door.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

next up, Everest

Today I achieved a life-long goal.

That's right -- I won a game of Hearts with a grand total of 0 points in the end. Check it out:


And all while I was being distracted by the Prabhas DVD I was half-watching.

I think I'll celebrate by fixing the toilet I was supposed to start working on when I got up seven hours ago.