Me: He said the only real problem he could see was that the muscles on the back of my legs are really tight.
Old Person: That don't sound right. I don't see how that could cause your problems. I think you probably have nerve damage, because my son's feet hurt and they found out that that's why.
Me: I really don't think that's what it is.
Old Person: Well, you should ask another doctor, because most doctors don't know what they're talking about.
Me: I have been to a lot of doctors. And it's true that some of them are incompetent, but I think this doctor knew what he was talking about.
Old Person: Didn't you say before that your problems had something to do with the bones?
Me: Well, that's what my one podiatrist said. He said that they were angled downward, and that was causing problems.
Old Person: Have you ever had your blood tested? Because you're really pale, which is a sign of leukemia, and leukemia causes bone problems.
Me: I'm pale because I'm white. I don't have leukemia.
Old Person: Okay, but I think you should get tested. You're really very pale.
Me: I'm naturally pale. Really, I don't think I have leukemia, or anything like that.
The next day . . .
Old Person: You really look pale. Maybe you have lupus. Have you ever gotten tested for that?
Me: I'm just white. I'm quite sure I don't have lupus or any other serious medical condition like that.
Old Person: Well, my daughter had leukemia, and she was really pale and bad looking for a while before they diagnosed her. I think you should get tested. Lupus or leukemia is probably causing your feet problems and making you look pale.
Me: I don't think my paleness and my foot problems are related, except to the extent that they're both conditions I was born with. But my paleness is not indicative of illness. Really, I'm just very fair-complected. And besides, I've had blood work done, and my blood is perfectly normal.
Old Person: Okay, but they might have gotten the tests wrong. You can't trust doctors.
Me: Really, I'm fine. I don't have lupus or leukemia. My terminal heart disease, on the other hand . . . .
(Okay, so I didn't really say that. The Old Person doesn't understand jokes.)