This Very Special Edition of my blog will allow you to vicariously enjoy the experience of watching Yaadein, minus the horror of all those transparent tanktops and other scary clothes. We'll focus on one of my favorite scenes: the anticlimactic crocodile scene.
To catch you up to speed, the hero is Ronit, played by Hrithik Roshan, and the heroine is Isha, played by Kareena Kapoor.
Without further ado, here is a Very Special glimpse of my thoughts during this fabulous scene.
What is this? Some kind of weird spring break scene?
Isha and her friends look awfully happy to be going to an island with danger signs posted everywhere.
And now they're running and screaming in terror. Is King Kong hiding out on the island or something?
So, they were scared because someone started playing clips of a crocodile walking around in a zoo? Okay. I do like the sound effects, but they might be more effective if the roars were coordinated with footage of the crocodile's mouth moving.
Wait, how did Isha get so far away from everyone else? They just got to the island a minute ago.
Wow, that's a nice stuffed crocodile. And I like the way they're cutting between the stuffed crocodile next to Isha and the crocodile footage from the zoo.
Hey, movie, the 1950's are calling. They want their special effects back.
You know, they should at least have attached a string to the stuffed crocodile's mouth so they could move it up and down. It's really hard to be scared of a crocodile that's not moving at all.
I think Kareena Kapoor would agree. The fake-scared looks in The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra were more convincing than this.
Oh, so now Isha's friends are leaving without her. Way to be manly, guys. Leave the girl behind with the scary crocodile while you race off in your boat.
Oh, but they're telling Ronit about it, and he'll be manly and save the day. It's a good thing he was hanging out by the docks on the mainland.
Never mind, it looks like Isha's going to take care of it herself. She'll get rid of the crocodile by . . . throwing her shirt at it? Um, okay.
And here's Ronit, looking muscular. Maybe now he'll wrestle the crocodile or something. That would be sweet.
No, I guess the crocodile is just going away. Maybe it was scared off by his massive biceps. Or by his sense of fashion.
Oh no, Ronit just found Isha's shirt. Maybe he'll think the crocodile ate her and he'll start crying manfully and stuff.
No, I guess not, because there's Isha. Sleeping? In a tree?
Oh, I think she fainted or something. In a tree.
Although she kind of looks like a lion's kill.
All right, so they're back in the boat again. I guess the crocodile didn't attack them after all. That was anticlimactic.
Dude, Ronit, we get the point. YOU HAVE BIG MUSCLES. WE KNOW. You don't need to keep flexing them every few minutes.
Heh heh. They're out of gas. Ronit, your little rescue attempt might have been a bit more impressive if you'd remembered to fill up the gas tank first.
Okay, I take it back. It is more impressive to rescue the girl by swimming back to the mainland with the boat in tow. I just hope the water isn't as infested by dangerous beasts as that island was.
And he's still swimming. How far away are they anyway?
Maybe there is a point to his muscles after all.
Still swimming. But look, there's a boat right there. Ronit, look to port! There's a boat. I bet they'll loan you some gas, or even give you a lift, if you ask them.
Okay, I guess he wants to do it the hard way.
So now it's dark outside? Seriously, how far away are they?
And it's morning again, I guess. Dude, Isha is still unconscious. When that girl faints, she doesn't mess around. Or maybe she woke up, saw that the man was doing all the work, and didn't see any point in letting him know that she was functioning again. I dig that.
Oh good, they made it to shore. And Ronit's in the hospital with a funky hospital cap on? Okay.
Wuss. Can't even rescue a girl without ending up in a hospital.
But it's all good, because now she knows she's in love with him.
Wow, that was so romantic, I guess.
But seriously, why didn't he wrestle the crocodile?