Dear Mumblers of America,
If you want me to actually listen to the words you're saying to me, you must, at a minimum, do one of two things:
(1) enunciate, or
(2) say something very interesting.
It's exhausting trying to decipher what you're mumbling about, so if you want me to put in the energy, you need to make it worth my while. "Mumble mumble laundry you know mumble you know mumble mumble just kidding! Mumble mumble um mumble" doesn't cut it. If I don't hear something interesting after a few minutes of straining to understand you, you might as well just stop talking, because I'm not listening any more.
Or you could just stop mumbling. At least then your conversation will only be painful in one way.