Sunday, September 16, 2007

helpful advice, column 2

Dear Stupid Dog Owner,

Over the past several months, I have noticed that you walk your dog about 50 times per day. Despite the frequency with which the dog is taken on walks and the fact that you incessantly tell the dog to "Go Potty" while walking it, the dog has apparently not learned the point of going on walks. This is so even though you act like the animal has discovered the cure for cancer every time it does finally do its business.

I advise you to get a smarter pet. Perhaps a goldfish or an earthworm.

Love, The Girl Whose Window Abuts Your Favorite Dog-Walking Location

4 comments:

todorojo said...

By "Stupid Dog Owner" do you mean to imply that the owner of the dog is stupid? Or that the he is merely the owner of a stupid dog? Or both?

Meg said...

Fish are pretty smart, I don't know about earthworms though. I've never had one as a pet though they have quite a little population going in our front and back "yards"

Chatalita said...

I you should leave a sign right where the dog normally does his business which says the words the dog owner ususally says. Then a little bit later another sign congratulating the dog. I am sure the dog is too stupid to read but maybe the dog owner will get the hint.

Cindy said...

Yes, the title was intentionally ambiguous. I find both the dog and its owner lacking in intelligence.

It would be funny to try leaving a sign for the dog, but I don't want the owner egging our windows or anything. She's not as annoying now that we don't have our windows open all night, so I think we'll be able to deal with the stupid dog and its stupid owner.