Friday, November 14, 2008

classified

Available immediately: shared bedroom for female roommate.

Rent: $270/month
Utilities: $40-$50/month
Location: Convenient
Carpets: Dirty
Hot water: Finally fixed
Dead mice in the hallway: None at present
Landlord: Apathetic
Parking tags available: One
Likelihood that you'll ever find a parking spot: Slim to none
Bollywood movies available for watching: >140
Cable TV, TiVo, Wireless internet, XBox, and DVD player: Yes
Landline telephone: No
Upstairs neighbors: Uncoordinated tap-dancing sumo wrestlers
Upstairs neighbors' pets: Kangaroos on pogo sticks
Roommates: (1) one quiet Mongolian -- unless you're collecting the money for the bills, you shouldn't have any problems with her, (2) one cranky American -- don't talk to her in the morning or while she's watching a movie, and you should get along fine, and (3) one slightly psycho Argentinian -- at least you'll always remember to have a nice day, since she writes that at the bottom of all her angry notes. (e.g., "ROOMMATES, WHO TOOK MY FOUR APPLES FROM THE FRIDGE?!?! THEY WERE MY APPLES AND I WANTED TO EAT THEM. DON'T STEAL OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD!!!!!!! HAVE A NICE DAY! :)")
Roommates who knowingly take other people's food: Zero
Roommates who put angry letters to the mailman in the mailbox: One.
Roommates who will blog about your eccentricities: Unknown. What's Mongolian for "cranky American"?

7 comments:

dad said...

I love the "uncoordinated tap-dancing sumo wrestlers" description. Also the "Kangaroos on pogo sticks." And "unless you're collecting the money for the bills...." And, the rest of the post.

becky said...

Baically.

Nancy said...

I would like to point out that while there are no dead mice currently, there is always the promise that they will come back. And if you are lucky, there are sometimes even dead birds. This could be a real selling point to some biology major. Don't shortchange all the perks of the apartment.

Cindy said...

Thanks, Dad.

That's a very good point about the possibilities for scientific research. I'll tell to Todd to include that on the advertisement if he ever decides to advertise the vacancy.

rosie said...

CINDY, WHY HAVEN'T YOU WRITTEN ANY MORE BLOGS? WE'RE ALL TIRED OF THIS ONE!!!! WRITE SOMETHING ELSE!!! HAVE A NICE DAY! :)

Adam said...

bollywood stole my cindy from me

Cindy said...

Oh Adam, you make me laugh. You can always visit if you want to hang out. :) I wouldn't even necessarily make you watch a Bollywood movie with me, although I would definitely suggest it.

Rosie, you make me laugh too. We'll see if your happy little note will be any more successful than my roommate's usually are. I'm only a pushover if no one is pushing me, as you well know.