Available immediately: shared bedroom for female roommate.
Hot water: Finally fixed
Dead mice in the hallway: None at present
Parking tags available: One
Likelihood that you'll ever find a parking spot: Slim to none
Bollywood movies available for watching: >140
Cable TV, TiVo, Wireless internet, XBox, and DVD player: Yes
Landline telephone: No
Upstairs neighbors: Uncoordinated tap-dancing sumo wrestlers
Upstairs neighbors' pets: Kangaroos on pogo sticks
Roommates: (1) one quiet Mongolian -- unless you're collecting the money for the bills, you shouldn't have any problems with her, (2) one cranky American -- don't talk to her in the morning or while she's watching a movie, and you should get along fine, and (3) one slightly psycho Argentinian -- at least you'll always remember to have a nice day, since she writes that at the bottom of all her angry notes. (e.g., "ROOMMATES, WHO TOOK MY FOUR APPLES FROM THE FRIDGE?!?! THEY WERE MY APPLES AND I WANTED TO EAT THEM. DON'T STEAL OTHER PEOPLE'S FOOD!!!!!!! HAVE A NICE DAY! :)")
Roommates who knowingly take other people's food: Zero
Roommates who put angry letters to the mailman in the mailbox: One.
Roommates who will blog about your eccentricities: Unknown. What's Mongolian for "cranky American"?