No offense to anyone who loves the holiday, but I've always thought Mother's Day was rather boring and pointless. But now, after reading about some promotional events conducted by an enterprising group of drug dealers, I realize that I just haven't been celebrating it right. Don't you think Mother's Day would be more fun with a "crack scramble," where your neighborhood crack dealer spreads crack throughout the hotel parking lot and then everyone rushes to gather up as much as they can? That would certainly make the holiday more interesting. Another holiday that can easily be spruced up is Easter, made much more exciting when you're hunting for crack instead of stupid plastic eggs, with free food for everyone who buys crack.
Now that's the entrepreneurial spirit that makes America great.