a sad realization

According to the Disney princesses quiz, I'm Sleeping Beauty. Clearly though, this is incorrect. Think about it: I can't sleep if there's light in the room, or if the neighbors are jumping up and down upstairs, or if anyone in my apartment is awake, or if the light rail outside the hotel is clanging its bell and making lots of noise, or if I don't have a mattress to sleep on. If I do manage to sleep under these circumstances, I wake up with a splitting headache or back problems. Much less 100 hours, I can't even sleep a full eight hours unless the environment meets my exacting requirements. Clearly, I'm not Sleeping Beauty; I'm the princess from The Princess and the Pea. That's right, the lamest princess in fairy-tale history. I'm too lame to even get a movie made about me.

Well, we can't all be awesome like Chantal (or Rosie, who is definitely a Sleeping Beauty).

better than flowers

No offense to anyone who loves the holiday, but I've always thought Mother's Day was rather boring and pointless. But now, after reading about some promotional events conducted by an enterprising group of drug dealers, I realize that I just haven't been celebrating it right. Don't you think Mother's Day would be more fun with a "crack scramble," where your neighborhood crack dealer spreads crack throughout the hotel parking lot and then everyone rushes to gather up as much as they can? That would certainly make the holiday more interesting. Another holiday that can easily be spruced up is Easter, made much more exciting when you're hunting for crack instead of stupid plastic eggs, with free food for everyone who buys crack.

Now that's the entrepreneurial spirit that makes America great.

as my sister's roommate's mom would say

How awesome is the BYU football team?

So awesome.